As my 33rd birthday nears, I should be thinking about the fun I'm going to be having this weekend, but for 4 days I have, consciously or unconsciously been thinking Japan. World War II, the holocaust, Hiroshima, seem like a distant history, terrors than could never be equaled, but then I felt that way about Vietnam and then Iraq came along. I have seen stories about suffering children in Japan during World War II, and one of them, an anime called Grave Of The Fireflies, may have been the single saddest movie I have ever seen. Now it seems that Japan's situation is more dire by the day, as if the earth were still quaking, the water still rushing. The body count swells and the radiation leaks. Am I really worried about it coming here? What has kept me from sleeping well the last few nights, kept my mind going deep into the smallest hours, some intangible restless fear that has no words, possibly no source. I try to ask myself what is wrong, but it is like looking for a reason in someone's childhood why they suffer from depression. Sometimes there is no smoking gun, no terrible secret. It's just the way things are.
Rain taps on the skylights, the wind puppets the trees. The world is as beautiful as ever. I am still amazed any of this exists at all in this massive universe. Every moment is a gift. Still, it is difficult to think that the climate, overpopulation, and our own technology doesn't have us teetering on an edge, and the abyss below isn't for us, but our children. Insomnia. Libya. Tectonic Plates. Distant Booms
That said, this may be the most terrible/beautiful of all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
I share your restless thoughts, your appreciation for what we have, your fears for others. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea where your title nor closing link came from.
Title: Notice how gift is used in the blog.
ReplyDeleteLink: Gotta watch the whole thing. Very Ridiculous. Thought ya might need it after that blog.